Please Don't Cry
by Miss Buch
Summary: Everyone has different ways of dealing with both physical and emotional pain. Asami finds out about Korra's, and is of course not pleased with the result. Set during their vacation during the Spirit World. One-shot.


**_Oh for god's sake, I've written more Korrasami stuff, what am I doing with my life? I have genuine exams to revise for, and here I have written another idea that popped into my head. Ok, that's a lie it didn't pop. As often happens, with a lot of people, not just me, I've hit some, lets say, emotional times, and I suppose this is small way of helping to deal with it. So enjoy I suppose. It's kind of angsty and I cried briefly while I wrote it, so if you don't like that kind of thing, then you should probably bugger off and read something else. Wow, that was rude. Sorry._**

 ** _Miss Buch xx_**

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 **Who will love you?**

 **Who will fight?**

 **And who will fall,**

 **So far behind?**

 _Skinny Love, Bon Iver_

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Korra was staring at the ground beneath her, eyes blank. The silence between them was deafening, it almost hurt her ears. Asami wouldn't look at her and there were tears sparkling in her eyes. Her whole body had just gone numb – she couldn't even move to wipe them away. "K-Korra. How long?" She managed to get out a hoarse whisper. The Avatar didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the ground. "Please." It was so hard to speak, and her voice broke over that one syllable. Korra bit her lip before closing her eyes.

"While I was gone. A-after Zaheer." She muttered.

" _Why do you always wear those anyway?" Korra glanced at her arm wraps._

" _They're part of my heritage – Water Tribe fashion. I mean, I know I don't dress that fashionably, but I like them."_

" _Why don't you take them off?"_

" _I don't need to. Plus, they're also protective." Asami frowned at her._ Something's wrong.

" _But you're with me. And you're safe. We're in the Spirit World." Korra let out small chuckle._ That's her stupid fake laugh she does when she's nervous or hiding something _. Before Korra could move, Asami started to pull the layer of blue down._

" _No! Don't!" Too late. Asami's hands flew to cover her mouth as her face crumpled. "I didn't want you to see." Korra muttered, tugging the wrap back up_.

And now they were here. Asami was wiping tears from her eyes and Korra was staring at the ground, not knowing what to say. _She cuts_. _Korra cuts._ The woman that had always been there for her was indescribably broken, and she had never known. The CEO didn't know how she was supposed to process this.

"H-how were you d-doing it?"

"At first it was anything I could find that was sharp enough. Teeth from the animals we hunted or tools from around the compound. But then I got my waterbending back. I used to bend water into ice or just a sharp edge. When I ran out of space of my left arm I started on my right. It just made everything go away; even if it was only for a moment." Asami was going to ask why, but that would have been a stupid question. She already knew the answer. Zaheer had taken away everything she thought she was – her bending, her independence, her sense of self was all gone. She had been stuck in a wheelchair, a shell of the girl she used to be. Perhaps this had been the only way she could regain some control over her life again. And she thought she knew how badly Korra had been messed up from that – but she never thought it was this bad. The CEO pressed her lips together and reached out for Korra's arm with shaking hands.

"You don't want to do that." The Avatar said darkly. Asami took a deep breath.

"Yes I do." She said firmly. With gentle fingers to rolled down the top part of the wrap and tugged it over her hand and off her arm. Korra looked away, staring in the opposite direction as she felt her arm being turned upwards so that Asami could see her forearm. "Oh Korra." She whispered. "Why did you never tell me?"

"I…c-couldn't." Korra choked a little as she tried to repress a sob. She felt small droplets of water splash onto her arm it shook slightly in Asami's hands. The CEO stared down at the thickened mass of scarring that marred the muscular forearm of the Avatar. It made her feel sick, knowing that Korra had done this to herself.

"Why didn't I notice before?" Asami asked out loud.

"I always had them covered up." Korra said with a slight shrug.

"But at Varrick's wedding – you weren't wearing anything to cover them then."

"You aren't the only one who knows how to use make up. It took a while to get the right colour, but after that it covered them well enough." Korra looked back at her and raised her hand to wipe away some of the tears glistening on Asami's cheeks. "Please don't cry." She asked softly.

"Why not?!" Asami suddenly shouted at her, standing up angrily and slapping her hand away. "I can't believe you did this to yourself! One cut the wrong way and you could have been dead, is that what you wanted?!" The sobs that Korra had been holding back broke through and she started to cry, angry, frustrated tears falling from her eyes.

"Ple-ease. Don't shou-"

"Why?! I'm so angry! I could have lost you to this, and where would that have left me?! I can't live without you! Why can't I fucking shout?!"

"Because you're breaking my heart!" Korra managed to get out between harsh breaths as a violent sob clawed its way out of her throat. Asami's mouth dropped open – she had been going to say something, but her words and died on her lips as she slumped back down next to her. The Avatar had dropped her face into her arms and let out a muffled howl against her hands. Asami had always been there for her, and she felt like she had betrayed her best friend. Korra hated hiding what she had done, but she was so afraid of what might happen. And now she hated herself because Asami was crying next to her and she was angry because she had never admitted how broken she was after what Zaheer had done to her.

"I'm sorry." Asami spoke softly, having recovered from her outburst several minutes later. "I just wished you'd told me you were feeling this bad. I would have come straight down the Southern Water Tribe to see you and make sure you were ok."

"But you had your company to take care of, and helping Republic City." Korra mumbled from between her fingers.

"None of that is important when my best friend is hurt. What Zaheer did to you was horrific, and the fact that you survived is a testament to your strength. But surviving is different to being completely fine. And you weren't." Korra didn't say anything as she stared at her uncovered forearm, eyes picking out the scars that were darker than others, attempting to count how many there were and then giving up quickly.

"When was the last time?" Korra frowned in thought.

"On and off while I was travelling. I suppose the last time was after I fought Kuvira for Zaofu. She nearly killed me, and I thought I had the Avatar Sate sorted, but I was wrong. I thought, after getting the poison out, I would feel better. But I didn't. Even when I thought I had control again. It just made everything go away for a little bit." She repeated her statement from earlier.

"Are you sure that was the last time?"

"Yes."

"Promise you'll never do it again?" Korra didn't look at her.

"I can't promise that." She's right. _I was being a bit optimistic there._

"Will you at least call me when you feel like you are going to do it? We can talk or something. I don't care whether its day or night. You can't do this anymore." Korra thought she was all cried out at this point, but she was wrong, and burst into fresh tears all over again. She knew that Asami was right and she had wanted to stop, several times in the past, but she just hadn't been able to. "Whatever horrible things are going through your head that make you do this, I want you let them out. You can tell me anything, you should know that by now."

"Ok." Korra managed to get out the word in a hoarse whisper. She looked down with slightly blurred vision at her uncovered arm, remember when and how she had made every cut. She could have healed them easily with waterbending, and they scarring wouldn't have been this bad. But she hadn't. They served as a reminder of the darkest parts of her life. Maybe with Asami's help she could escape them. Korra looked up at the green eyed woman next to her. She swallowed thickly to try and soothe her aching throat. "Thank you." Asami didn't say anything, just held out a slim hand for her. Korra took it, intertwining their fingers. The CEO looked at the contrast between the Avatar's chocolate coloured skin in comparison to her own milky tones. The tiniest hint of a smile fluttered at the edges of her lips before she looked at the sun setting along the horizon.

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 ** _Yeah, I'm not that happy with ending, but meh, I can't really bring myself care to try and fix it. I hope you thought it was alright. *shrugs and goes back to revising*_**


End file.
